Sunday, April 30, 2006

yesterday work..wanted to go off early, kelvin sam wouldnt let me...finally know who the 2nd oriental yingying is...quite pretty...hehehehehhehe


neways reached home at like 2.30am....went to bed at 3.30...couldnt sleep till six plus...had to wake up at seven thirty....third aunt wouldnt let me sleep cos i had agreed to go to malaysia with them...felt fucking sick lah....didnt have much appetite the whole day...as usual couldnt find much stuff to get in malaysia....wanted to get some shoes but didnt have my size.... malaysians dont have yeti feet like me....was aching all over...felt like shitting real bad too...went for thai massage at jusco...(its not those sleazy kinds lah)...my nephew was with his parents in the other room...he was threatening to throw his ultraman toys over the partition....damn naughty boy...was irritating me throughout the whole trip..didnt help that it felt like my brain was pulling my eyes inwards by their optic nerves


couldnt communicate with the thai massussue (is this how you spell it?)...seems like the only words she knew were "sabai" and "shu foo"....so whenever she asked me if it felt comfortable, i would just grunt my approval, despite being in some toe-curling pain...tummy was bloated from needing to shit...think had alot of gas inside...part of the tenseness was from trying to keep my gas in...however, my efforts were shattered when she lifted my legs to stretch them.....i let one rip....so paiseh! i practically farted in her fa e....throughout the whole session i farted quite a few more times as well....the massuse (or is this how you spell it?) was quite nice about it....she kept chattering to her colleauge in thai...wonder what she was saying...



after watching them eat lunch went to laosai....then slept in the car whilst they shopped around...went to collect photos, buy pirated dvds, eat dinner then went home...causeway was fucking jammed...so jammed that they blocked the road.....went to second link...didnt end up at kota tinggi again...thank God....im finally home...need a bath desperately...


seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot with some of my classmates...never had this problem before...have i changed?? ionno...somehow i just dont give a fuck anymore...i dont even know if im doing it on purpose....just to make myself a loner so i can concentrate on my studies...yup im weird...whether its my fault or not is not important....all i know is that im in a mess now...lets just see what happens on tuesday...ima become cheak the tiresome dickhead



rap can be nonsensical, like stupid rappers like diddy and 50 cent...just rap bout fucking bitches, clubbing and bragging bout shit that dont even exist
it can also be an outlet for thoughts and feelings..eminem is to me one of the greatest lyricists that ever lived...its not just music, its meaning





i love these portions of eminem's song "hailie's song", its just so 'me'...can really relate to him




Some days I sit, starin out the window

Watchin this world pass me by

Sometimes I think theres nothin to live for

I almost break down and cry



Somtimes I think I'm crazy

I'm crazy, oh so crazy

Why am I here, am I just wasting my time?
.
.
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Somtimes it feels like the world's on my shoulders

Everyone's leanin on me

Cuz sometimes it feels like the world's almost over

But then she comes back to me
.
.
.
People make jokes, cuz they don't understand me

They just dont see my real side



I act like shit don't phase me,

Inside it drives me crazy

My insecurities could eat me alive
.
.
.
But I wanna just take this time out to be perfectly honest

Cuz there's a lot of shit I keep bottled that hurts deep inside o' my soul,

And just know that I grow colder the older I grow

This boulder on my shoulder gets heavy and harder to hold

And this load is like the weight of the world

And I think my neck is breaking should I just give up,

Or try to live up to these expectations?
.
.
But I handle it well, given the circumstances I'm dealt

So many chances, man, it's too bad, coulda had someone else

But the years that I've wasted are nothing to the tears that I've tasted

leaving skool cheakie at 11:42 PM [comment]

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