Thursday, August 31, 2006

felt kinda bad. turned on my phone last night to delete some photos which umm...needed deleting. (ironic how i was so bent on taking them in the first place), when recieved jacq's msg. then jacq called. kinda shocked so let it ring a bit. didnt know what else to do. she didnt put down. so i kinda rejected the call cos i didnt want her wasting her time trying to contact me when she had important exams coming up. and i didnt want to talk to anyone either.


in case you are reading jacq, sorry, that was fucking rude of me. please work hard and do me proud. i do treasure the spastics but im at a point in time when i really dont want to talk to anyone at all. sorry.


wonder if anyone else has been trying to call me. other than jo, i doubt it. o.o


phone might been on the whole day tml cos im working. just in case my managers call.


i dont think im wallowing in self-pity. i absolutely detest people who do. i think they are pathetic. i dont pity myself. and i dont need any pity. i just wonder why everything bad happens to me, and every single time it does, its similiar.


history repeated itself since the age of thirteen

again

and again

and again

and again


i ain't getting any answers about that either. this is a period of self-reflection to find out what i have been doing wrong all this while. all i can gather now is my trust in others. i used to play Risk in Strat Club in JC, and i always lost because i was sold out by my ally (most of the time, yenn jie). yet i chose to trust him again and again.


so i gather. i STILL trust too easily.


good pilgrim, trust NO ONE, not even your MOTHER, not even your CLOSE FRIEND, not even people who SAY THEY LOVE YOU, not people who PROMISE YOU HEAVEN.


and dont ever, EVER think that just because you have done so much for them, that they will do as much for you.


selfishness and distrust: the 2 keys to survival




off to bed and try to get some sleep. work at 7am tml.

leaving skool cheakie at 11:38 PM [comment]

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