Monday, September 11, 2006

have been sick of this annoying blogskin for damn long. but was too damn lazy to change it. finally,

i was so bored this afternoon that i MOVED



gonna leave this webpage to become a cobweb.


even cheak the monkey has scampered over there. click on the link in red to go over and continue abusing him.


see you on the other side!

leaving skool cheakie at 9:37 PM [comment]

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Sunday, September 10, 2006

Enslave my heart, revealed is her apathey.
I'm bounded by a fear of loneliness,
Show me fidelity now fill me with a false sense of hope,
This will be reminder of what we once were.
I'll leave your lips soaked with remnants of a love held together by deception.
And death is masked as my savior.
Martyred in your heartless name.
The detriment was much too profound for you
To mend my wounds sweetly with your blackened kiss,
My heart you've bled it dry
You could mean the world to me nothing less throughout eternity.
You're the end of the world to me.
A beautiful contradiction possessing me.
I can give you no more than all the love I have.
Take it with you wherever your heart shall lead you.
This is the requiem for broke hearts and empty promises,
With weary steps I will press on no longer,
Now watch as the blade cuts through my skin,
And this blood will forever rain up on your guiltless head,
Could you hold this close to your heart forever...forever?
Will you hold this close to your heart forever and always.
Or will you bathe in my blood forever and always?


B-E-A-utiful lyrics. wow.




i don't know, but it just feels so empty now. especially when i see her tags on other blogs. i take a look at my previous tags. and

i dont know

it just feels very sad

the void that she filled is now void again.

the worm-eater has been abandoned again.




work yesterday nearly killed me. started work at 8am. i earn 6 bucks per hour. i made $108 yesterday after deducting an hour for lunch and dinner. you do the math.

cant concentrate on anything at all nowadays

woke up at 1.30. i havent gone to church in more than a month. this is bad

leaving skool cheakie at 6:45 PM [comment]

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Friday, September 08, 2006

o,O why is everyone a hady fan? tsktsk. he seems like a Suria-only sort of singer, if you get what i mean. either that or TV 2.. oops


was too damn shagged after work yesterday to blog. so didnt. sold my soul to the hotel from 14-22 sept (if i remember correctly) for the IMF shit. doesnt matter much since i dont have much of a life to speak of now. gah. pay is 7.50 per hour. not too bad, i dont mind working.


i've paid off all my fricking phone bills for now. my finances have dipped below the $1000 mark. i'd better start filling out those booking slips to work again. im not risking anything. i need at least 1K to survive if im thrown out again. though i dont have any reason to fear that yet.

leaving the house has become more of a chore since i started paying my own transport fees and as i mentioned before, i say it again, ADULT FARE IS KILLING ME!






give me something to look forward to



took me 8 months to discover this


any idea who the fuck is the author of this blog? obviously one of those people who do not know me well enough but decide to pass comments all the same. a prude

leaving skool cheakie at 3:00 PM [comment]

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Thursday, September 07, 2006

ITS NOT FAIR, WHY CAN'T I FUCKING SLEEP?

dont know why, but everytime when i do need to sleep, i cant. the mind is fucking flooded with all sorts of thoughts.


the thing is, i dont think about her per se any more. but my mind is flooded with things related to her.

cineleisure sofas
her bedsheets
bunny
yada yada yada


and i cant really take bunny out to sleep with her on my pillow anymore.


i just discovered Safari sucks ass for blogging. i cant change my font colors, sizes and shit if i dont know html (which i dont, thanks alot liswanto, didnt pay attention)


oh main discovery for the day: some singapore idols can actually sing. like jonathan for instance. i tell you that dude is the only one worthy to stand on that stage. and sg idol logistics officially sucks ass. think they put in some amatuer cameramen in there. even the hosts dont know the order of programme. a big joke. lets all laugh. hawhaw.

judges had pretty good comments. as they always fucking do. makes it seem more 'Singapore Cheerleader' than 'Singapore Idol'. cant stand the way the first 3 judges gush over an utterly bland performance. think there were less bad comments this week cos it was judges choice. criticising the song would have only reflected badly on the judges. so those proud turds even said nice stuff about twohill's really wrong-sounding rendition of "i want to grow old with you"..the dude looked like he just smoked a whole bale of weed. sick.

oh that song. some people think its disgusting. only we thought it was sweet (still think it is). but since you were involved in it, *bloop* deleted. im trying the 'eternal sunshine of a spotless mind' approach.


daymn even that reminds me of you


NOW MAYBE YOU KNOW WHY I CANT FUCKING SLEEP?

so from now on ima blog with firefox (no matter how fucking laggy), and watch sg idol for jonathan, despite the dizzying footage.

actually i kinda forgot what you look like. this is working quite well. but i cant seem to forget the things associated wit you.


damn work at 9am tml. off to TRY to get some fucking shuteye.


leaving skool cheakie at 12:57 AM [comment]

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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

stepping hesitantly back out of the shadows

leaving skool cheakie at 2:48 PM [comment]

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ooh its past midnight!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUI!

you have no idea how proud i am to be your big bro! though that big-headed selfish bitch of a motha we have tries to keep us apart, you know gorgor always cares about you! i don't know how to go to visit you at your sec scoo, we shall see how tml! fuck i forgot to call just now to arrange a time to meet up with you. ARGH!

still wracking my brains to think of what to get you. something that that fucktard cant find and tear up/smash up/throw away/give away. ahma told me not to give hui anything. she said laobu always snatches it away from my sis and gives it away. killing 2 birds with one stone. fucking bitch can stop any influence on her daughter by her 'god-forsaken son' and at the same time, gain the good favor of whichever fucktard she gives the item to. sneaky bitch.



just realised that i just wasted a year of iLife subscription. daymn. no one to ichat with me anymore. fucked up. unless i iChat with kian, which will be fucking gay. bah



if you can't promise that you won't laugh at me, don't read on.





i want to learn to beatbox like properly. found this really cool forum which allows me to dl beatboxing video tutorials. really cool. ima try to pick up a skill or two. it should work for entertaining myself.


ok fine laugh all you want


gotta go. waking up early to accompany grandma to the market tml morning. try to be a good grandson

leaving skool cheakie at 12:16 AM [comment]

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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

i think im officially turning numb again. thats good.


everyone's putting turtles on their msn nicks cos of steve irwin.

i have never been a particularly rabid fan of him. couldnt stand the way he talked. couldnt understand his morbid fascination with wrestling crocodiles who were minding their own business and then jumping into the camera screaming about how 'crocs rule'. gawd.

come on, give the poor mothafucker a break, he's dead for heaven's sake!


oh well, at least baby irwin can sleep in peace knowing that no one is gonna dangle him above a pool of crocodiles a-la-michaeljackson


but the poor lil tot is gonna wake up knowing that he won't ever see daddy again, thanks to a lousy stingray. him and his sis.



just an afterthought, that must have been one pissed-off stingray. wonder what irwin was doing, playing with its balls or something.



rest in peace steve

leaving skool cheakie at 12:11 AM [comment]

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Sunday, September 03, 2006

All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been livin in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe

I Don't Feel Safe Oohhh

Left broken empty in despair
Wanna breathe can't find air
Thought you were sent from up above
But you and me never had love
So much more I have to say
Help me find a way

And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone

I'll tell you
All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe
I need to pray




of course you don't know how it feels to be left outside alone in the cold.

you had my jacket to keep you warm then

you have him now, his jacket now a subsitute for mine.

leaving skool cheakie at 9:02 PM [comment]

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Saturday, September 02, 2006

couldnt sleep the whole of last night. lay in bed from 23 45 to about midnight when i realised that i forgot to put my working pants into my bag so i ran upstairs to get it. at 0015, went back to bed. but just couldnt sleep. tossed, turned and thought. even tried counting sheep but gave up when i reached the 143rd sheep cos i felt dumb. looked at the time:2am. fuck


went out and lay on the sofa. not much space to toss and turn there. the last time i glanced at my clock, it was 3.45am. even then i couldnt sleep properly and kept drifting in and out of sleep.alarm rang at 4.55am. was glad to get up.

today was the first day that i actually talked to mrs parker. supper after work. yeah. was supposed to join kong and the guys for jumbo seafood but kinda decided against it.


its amazing how its easier to talk to someone who is almost completely a stranger than to people who have been my friends for like years. of course it was mainly just gossip and poking fun at each other so yeah.


wow she stays really near my primary scoo.


i thought i could change for her, just for her,

but that was then

now im really kinda worried that i might revert to my old ways


someone might get hurt in order for me to return back to my normal self.


damn this shit fucking sucks.


spastics, i think i might be back rather soon. =/

leaving skool cheakie at 1:01 AM [comment]

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