Sunday, April 30, 2006

yesterday work..wanted to go off early, kelvin sam wouldnt let me...finally know who the 2nd oriental yingying is...quite pretty...hehehehehhehe


neways reached home at like 2.30am....went to bed at 3.30...couldnt sleep till six plus...had to wake up at seven thirty....third aunt wouldnt let me sleep cos i had agreed to go to malaysia with them...felt fucking sick lah....didnt have much appetite the whole day...as usual couldnt find much stuff to get in malaysia....wanted to get some shoes but didnt have my size.... malaysians dont have yeti feet like me....was aching all over...felt like shitting real bad too...went for thai massage at jusco...(its not those sleazy kinds lah)...my nephew was with his parents in the other room...he was threatening to throw his ultraman toys over the partition....damn naughty boy...was irritating me throughout the whole trip..didnt help that it felt like my brain was pulling my eyes inwards by their optic nerves


couldnt communicate with the thai massussue (is this how you spell it?)...seems like the only words she knew were "sabai" and "shu foo"....so whenever she asked me if it felt comfortable, i would just grunt my approval, despite being in some toe-curling pain...tummy was bloated from needing to shit...think had alot of gas inside...part of the tenseness was from trying to keep my gas in...however, my efforts were shattered when she lifted my legs to stretch them.....i let one rip....so paiseh! i practically farted in her fa e....throughout the whole session i farted quite a few more times as well....the massuse (or is this how you spell it?) was quite nice about it....she kept chattering to her colleauge in thai...wonder what she was saying...



after watching them eat lunch went to laosai....then slept in the car whilst they shopped around...went to collect photos, buy pirated dvds, eat dinner then went home...causeway was fucking jammed...so jammed that they blocked the road.....went to second link...didnt end up at kota tinggi again...thank God....im finally home...need a bath desperately...


seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot with some of my classmates...never had this problem before...have i changed?? ionno...somehow i just dont give a fuck anymore...i dont even know if im doing it on purpose....just to make myself a loner so i can concentrate on my studies...yup im weird...whether its my fault or not is not important....all i know is that im in a mess now...lets just see what happens on tuesday...ima become cheak the tiresome dickhead



rap can be nonsensical, like stupid rappers like diddy and 50 cent...just rap bout fucking bitches, clubbing and bragging bout shit that dont even exist
it can also be an outlet for thoughts and feelings..eminem is to me one of the greatest lyricists that ever lived...its not just music, its meaning





i love these portions of eminem's song "hailie's song", its just so 'me'...can really relate to him




Some days I sit, starin out the window

Watchin this world pass me by

Sometimes I think theres nothin to live for

I almost break down and cry



Somtimes I think I'm crazy

I'm crazy, oh so crazy

Why am I here, am I just wasting my time?
.
.
.
Somtimes it feels like the world's on my shoulders

Everyone's leanin on me

Cuz sometimes it feels like the world's almost over

But then she comes back to me
.
.
.
People make jokes, cuz they don't understand me

They just dont see my real side



I act like shit don't phase me,

Inside it drives me crazy

My insecurities could eat me alive
.
.
.
But I wanna just take this time out to be perfectly honest

Cuz there's a lot of shit I keep bottled that hurts deep inside o' my soul,

And just know that I grow colder the older I grow

This boulder on my shoulder gets heavy and harder to hold

And this load is like the weight of the world

And I think my neck is breaking should I just give up,

Or try to live up to these expectations?
.
.
But I handle it well, given the circumstances I'm dealt

So many chances, man, it's too bad, coulda had someone else

But the years that I've wasted are nothing to the tears that I've tasted

leaving skool cheakie at 11:42 PM [comment]

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Thursday, April 27, 2006

was late for school today...damn fuck...the 157 took fucking long to come....met the bus conductor on it..thank God he didnt check me...then cos it was still early, waited for the 61.......waited till i was late...and when it finally did come, it was full up....fucking insolent bus driver refused to open the front door...nearly gave him the finger...think he must have been masturbating at the interchange and forgot that he had a bus to drive...



was thinking of taking cab...but there was none...annother 61 came so took it...bendy and fucking empty....then ran to class..fuck man...came in 3 mins before i would have been marked absent...lecturer is this fucking cute korean guy...haha...reina says he looks like a laughing buddha..im inclined to agree...though we cant understand half of what he says due to his heavy accent, it seems like im going to live for friday morning location video production workshop classes!!! for this semester at least....finally im learning something related to my future



saw the cheryl fox lookalike today again...somehow she doesnt look that hot anymore...shes got the same appeal as june from jc...but somehow im not into that kind of girls..and shes quite chubby...AND SHES ATTACHED! arggh fuckit....




went to eat kfc with kian and caroline after sch....actually i just watched them eat...lol....then kian and i went to play pool...i totally suck now...i need my cue real bad...jiawen just called me...THE SPASTIC FIVE ARE GOING FOR DINNER! waaaaaHHHH!! so happy! FINALLY! i miss them so much! spastic 5 featuring james...lol....later gonna drink with nehneh and mebbe roy...its not gonna be such a bad day after all..

leaving skool cheakie at 9:51 PM [comment]

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why do girls always make guys seem like assholes/jerks/bastards?

why is it always the guy's fault?

never heard any guy come out on his own to admit that his girlfriend treats him bad

he might have started the quarrel, probably meant it to be goodnatured, you turned it around, made it hell, only made it known that he started the quarrel, and WALA! he becomes the quarrelsome asshole who can never live in peace with anyone, why?

"he started it!"



guys dont want to lose face, ego makes them seem like assholes
girls just want sympathy, bitchiness makes them seem like helpless victims



school is getting monotonous already...many modules this semester are totally not my cup of tea....though it means that after this semester, virtually everything would be fun for me, this sem might just make me lose interest in it all...hmmmm...



i miss jc, miss the spastics, miss secondary school, miss the 3/4 dark side....i dont know...its been different since you left...i gained strength when you came into my life...i lost everything when you left..i flunked jc because of you, i know it wasnt your fault that you did all that you did, but was it my fault that i read into it? did you turn me into a jerk? or did you bring out the jerk in me? we came clean yesterday after so long..if you were honest, everything is cleared up...i wont go emo over you ever again..i wont allow myself to..this will be my final raving...i will go silent....


God was so loving as to put you in my life
so cruel as to snatch you away
put within me a painful strife
but faithfully helping me everyday


my God is a faithful God, my God is a loving God, my God is a mysterious God


is he going to allow me to fail poly too?
that i cant afford to do..




dammit...where is my bible when i need it?


tummy hurts...im going mad



silence

leaving skool cheakie at 9:51 PM [comment]

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Monday, April 24, 2006

yesterday went to malaysia....didnt have anything to get...so didnt buy anything...its damn scary...you get many sporting brand goods which are designs which you havent seen before...and they are made in malaysia...and its in major shopping centres....its scary cos nike and adidas do not have factories in malaysia....and these pirated goods are sold next to the originals...and it doesnt help that designs nowadays are getting worse and worse...original goods are losing their flavor, starting to look no better than fakes....so i didnt get anything at all


but camel active shoes are damn cheap there...and damn comfy...i might just get a pair........haha



today was the first day of sch...i lugged my ibook around for nothing! dont like more than half my class...they are weird...like seriously...and i dont like most of my modules either....other than location video production, i really dont like the others: marketing is waaaay too econs...thank God the lecturer aint as incompetent as my previous econs teacher...lol...
graphic design is too arty too...i hope i can make it through both modules though...media in society, tough module...but very interesting...very GP...very stimulating...i hope i can do well...yeahhh



new school, new course, new style of learning
moving forward in life but stuck in the past
love you, miss you, need you bad

leaving skool cheakie at 11:14 PM [comment]

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yesterday went to malaysia....didnt have anything to get...so didnt buy anything...its damn scary...you get many sporting brand goods which are designs which you havent seen before...and they are made in malaysia...and its in major shopping centres....its scary cos nike and adidas do not have factories in malaysia....and these pirated goods are sold next to the originals...and it doesnt help that designs nowadays are getting worse and worse...original goods are losing their flavor, starting to look no better than fakes....so i didnt get anything at all


but camel active shoes are damn cheap there...and damn comfy...i might just get a pair........haha



today was the first day of sch...i lugged my ibook around for nothing! dont like more than half my class...they are weird...like seriously...and i dont like most of my modules either....other than location video production, i really dont like the others: marketing is waaaay too econs...thank God the lecturer aint as incompetent as my previous econs teacher...lol...
graphic design is too arty too...i hope i can make it through both modules though...media in society, tough module...but very interesting...very GP...very stimulating...i hope i can do well...yeahhh



new school, new course, new style of learning
moving forward in life but stuck in the past
love you, miss you, need you bad

leaving skool cheakie at 10:46 PM [comment]

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Friday, April 21, 2006

school today wasnt fun...finally i know who is reina lah...half-ran to school cos i was late in meeting her and she was waiting for me with someone she just met...pressured me lah! cos of her, i stank the whole day cos i was sweating like a pig...


neways....ITS SO DISAPPOINTING!! aaarggh...first of all, when i looked around, there are not many hot chicks!!! and, like totally none in my class..and the cheryl fox lookalike whom faris was talking about? SHE IS IN FSV, NOT MASS COMM!!!! HAAAARGH....so disappointing! shes quite hot though, i have to admit...hehe...im in the same class as reina though, but not the same one as wentong..dammit....saw practically everyone whom i know in ngeeann today...haha...first saw jasmine! dammit shes my senior now....and clara from esplanade bar....and elin! the hot usher...hehe....later saw johanna and hafizah too...guess me classmates must have the impression that im like very popular or something...haha...so dumb...even met like 7 commonwealthians...they know me, but i dont know them...haha....so dumb...and some peeps from orientation..


so i left halfway...ya...screw the dumb telematch and cca shit....school hasnt even started and i have already started ponning...this is BAAAAAD.....came straight home cos i stank...at least now i dont dread going home....i have more reason to go home straight after school nowadays...


downloaded senuti...its this program that can transfer songs from ipod to my iboook....NO MORE REPLACING NETTE"S SONGS WITH MINE! muahahahaha.....


She just msged to wish me goodnight! all these lil things.......they just make my day, even though theres not much of it left...haha


i dont want to be hung up no more........am i hung up over Her?

leaving skool cheakie at 11:12 PM [comment]

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Thursday, April 20, 2006

sunday we celebrated weini's birthday....only then did i know that all was over between her and kimpeng....dammmit....i even asked her where he was before i knew...neways shes ok...she told us the story of what happened...my impression of kimpeng as the most perfect boyfriend is dashed...couldnt believe he could do such things....


after dinner sent weini to hbf mrt with amy...chatted at macs....while we were talking about amy and edwin, he called! poor amy...crying on the phone...shes too nice and forgiving for her own good...



been working like fuck for the past few days...yesterday night afer work met ZHENG ZHIYUAN on the bus...haha...my deardear ex....neways havent seen her in damn long...shes like damn busy in school...she told me stuff...her former best friend now seems like a total loser....



today went to cut hair...at reds academy...after the haircut, i turned my head and i saw a familiar face...it was jasmin from my sec sch...shes like this hair model for reds...wow...went to collect pay and meet nette at work..... walked around marina square a bit....she told me about jh....im kinda worried for myself...cos to me, jh's mentality is around the same as mine...and what he did, i probably would too...most ppl would say he is a jerk....that means that they would be saying the same of me.....dammit...am i a jerk in hiding?


tml is orientation....yay haha...

leaving skool cheakie at 10:50 PM [comment]

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sunday we celebrated weini's birthday....only then did i know that all was over between her and kimpeng....dammmit....i even asked her where he was before i knew...neways shes ok...she told us the story of what happened...my impression of kimpeng as the most perfect boyfriend is dashed...couldnt believe he could do such things....


after dinner sent weini to hbf mrt with amy...chatted at macs....while we were talking about amy and edwin, he called! poor amy...crying on the phone...shes too nice and forgiving for her own good...



been working like fuck for the past few days...yesterday night afer work met ZHENG ZHIYUAN on the bus...haha...my deardear ex....neways havent seen her in damn long...shes like damn busy in school...she told me stuff...her former best friend now seems like a total loser....



today went to cut hair...at reds academy...after the haircut, i turned my head and i saw a familiar face...it was jasmin from my sec sch...shes like this hair model for reds...wow...went to collect pay and meet nette at work..... walked around marina square a bit....she told me about jh....im kinda worried for myself...cos to me, jh's mentality is around the same as mine...and what he did, i probably would too...most ppl would say he is a jerk....that means that they would be saying the same of me.....dammit...am i a jerk in hiding?


tml is orientation....yay haha...

leaving skool cheakie at 10:50 PM [comment]

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Saturday, April 15, 2006

WA DAMN SHIOK! im like using the internet on my ibook! havent even installed my router! im tapping some kind soul's wireless network! so so so happy!


neways yesterday in the end didnt manage to watch ice age 2 cos we didnt have the time....went drinking at the purple light district instead with roy....we all peed in the carpark.....haha...even lynette....but i didnt peek! haha

tried to kope all of nette's music in her nano but ended up erasing all of it and replacing it wwith the music in my ibook...poor girl....


went a lil crazy and msged Her...so dumb...got a dressingdown from nette....She replied me today though! happy happy....returned nette her cable today, with a mars bar to say i was sorry bout all the trouble...



the feeling She gives me is the same i get when going down the swing
exhilaration
joy
cant help but smile
not a spastic smile
a smile of utter bliss

leaving skool cheakie at 10:41 PM [comment]

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WA DAMN SHIOK! im like using the internet on my ibook! havent even installed my router! im tapping some kind soul's wireless network! so so so happy!


neways yesterday in the end didnt manage to watch ice age 2 cos we didnt have the time....went drinking at the purple light district instead with roy....we all peed in the carpark.....haha...even lynette....but i didnt peek! haha

tried to kope all of nette's music in her nano but ended up erasing all of it and replacing it wwith the music in my ibook...poor girl....


went a lil crazy and msged Her...so dumb...got a dressingdown from nette....She replied me today though! happy happy....returned nette her cable today, with a mars bar to say i was sorry bout all the trouble...



the feeling She gives me is the same i get when going down the swing
exhilaration
joy
cant help but smile
not a spastic smile
a smile of utter bliss

leaving skool cheakie at 10:41 PM [comment]

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WA DAMN SHIOK! im like using the internet on my ibook! havent even installed my router! im tapping some kind soul's wireless network! so so so happy!


neways yesterday in the end didnt manage to watch ice age 2 cos we didnt have the time....went drinking at the purple light district instead with roy....we all peed in the carpark.....haha...even lynette....but i didnt peek! haha

tried to kope all of nette's music in her nano but ended up erasing all of it and replacing it wwith the music in my ibook...poor girl....


went a lil crazy and msged Her...so dumb...got a dressingdown from nette....She replied me today though! happy happy....returned nette her cable today, with a mars bar to say i was sorry bout all the trouble...



the feeling She gives me is the same i get when going down the swing
exhilaration
joy
cant help but smile
not a spastic smile
a smile of utter bliss

leaving skool cheakie at 10:41 PM [comment]

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Friday, April 14, 2006

I MISS DAWN! miss disturbing her so so much....haha...heres an excerpt from one of our online conversations...


{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
so i can

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
fully comprehend

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
the extent

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
of

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
your

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
HORNYNESS!

what do you do when it all falls apart says:
!!!!!!!!!!

what do you do when it all falls apart says:
NOOOOO.....

what do you do when it all falls apart says:
pls la

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
haa

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
tsktsk

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
dawndawn

what do you do when it all falls apart says:
u also have some lkind of inkling of what u'd like right

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
afraid of me playing with your belly piercing

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
but yet

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
so bold in your imaginations and fantasies

what do you do when it all falls apart says:
lol

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
*clapclap*

what do you do when it all falls apart says:
whatever my man..

what do you do when it all falls apart says:
u knw it bled ytd when i was playing

what do you do when it all falls apart says:
{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
bled?

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
what bled?

what do you do when it all falls apart says:
my piercving la

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
WHAT WERE YOU PLAYING WITH?

what do you do when it all falls apart says:
wah...

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
OMG

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
ey dawn

what do you do when it all falls apart says:
then my vagina arh?

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
masturbate till bleed

what do you do when it all falls apart says:
PIERCING...

what do you do when it all falls apart says:
belly piercinhg!~~1

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY TO A DILDO!

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
WAHAHAHAHAAA

what do you do when it all falls apart says:
...

what do you do when it all falls apart says:
-____-

what do you do when it all falls apart says:
u idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

{!!~cHËãK~??} Mr. Lonely don't be ridiculous says:
thats like so loser

what do you do when it all falls apart says
....


puahahaha....gonna meet nette later....watch ice age2...finally the little girl is gonna get what she wants...

leaving skool cheakie at 5:08 PM [comment]

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Thursday, April 13, 2006

FOC camp wasnt that fun....didnt really like the people there....but i do like my GLs...they are damn funny, crazy and nice...appreciate all their effort put in....was tiring...last night i got drawn on when i was in a helpless position, and with toothpaste while i was sleeping...sian...others were worse off lah...till now i still cant rub away the maker rings around my tits and the crosses on my tits.....arrrghh...


shagged...bored....cant wait to start school...hopefully my coursemates will be nicer and be on the same frequency...

leaving skool cheakie at 6:18 PM [comment]

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Tuesday, April 04, 2006

i need a new job! future-cousin-in-law (cousin's fiance valerie jiejie) has offered to find me a job as a handphone promoter....tml going for interview....hmmmmmm...


i am relieved...(nope i didnt just go pee) ...i finally settled the last stage of poly registration...now to wait till the school approves of it....


watched "v for vendetta" with nette yesterday....its good....nette was a sour grape...just cos we watched it instead of ice age 2, she was so critical about the movie....WHO IS THE CHILDISH ONE HEH? tsk....


saturday went to taka to meet xiaobai, alison and edwin for lunch....didnt say much...still damn disappointed...


tonight is the milan match...hope i dont fall asleep again...MILAN WILL PREVAIL! muahahahahaha....sorry...





Everybody knows that
I was such a fool
To ever let go of you,
but baby I was wrong

Yeah
I know I said we'd be better off alone
It was time that we moved on
I know
I broke your heart
I didn't mean to break your heart
But baby here I am

Chorus:Banging on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised
And I'm crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was running from the truth
And now I'm crawling back to you
I know you're in there
And you can make me wait
But I'm not gonna wait
It's the least that I can do
Just to tell you face-to-face
I was lying to myself
Now I'm dying in this hell
Girl I know you're mad
I can't blame you for being mad
But baby here I am

If you can save these tears from crying
Touch these hands that can't stop shaking
Hear my heart that's barely beating
You will see a different man
But baby here I am




=/

leaving skool cheakie at 8:28 PM [comment]

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