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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 Numb: Linkin Park I'm tired of being what you want me to be Feeling so faithless Lost under the surface I don't know what you're expecting of me Put under the pressure Of walking in your shoes [Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow] Every step that I take is another mistake to you I've Become so numb I can't feel you there Become so tired So much more aware I'm becoming this All I want to do Is be more like me And be less like you Can't you see that you're smothering me Holding too tightly Afraid to lose control 'Cause everything that you thought I would be Has fallen apart right in front of you [Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow] Every step that I take is Another mistake to you [Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow] And every second I waste Is more than I can take And I knowI may end up failing too But I know You were just like me With someone disappointed in you leaving skool cheakie at 1:37 AM [comment] *** Monday, January 30, 2006 being cai shen ye was quite happening...you get people staring at you and you can actually wave back without feeling that stupid... actually i felt damn stupid, but let me start from the beginning...i went shopping with dawnie...shes a fucking spendthrift man....i had no idea she was going into high end boutiques so i didnt dress the part in my boardshorts and tee...after a LOOONG wait for her arrival in the sweltering heat...she finally came..she got into a bus queue and i followed her while listening to her excuses for being late...our bus, service 7, finally came...but strangely the queue wasnt moving...bus 7 went off...it was then that we realised we were in the wrong queue...damn dumb... then, on the bus, i realised i had a few missed calls from oriental...told the person who answered who i was and stuff...he hurriedly asked me what time i was reporting to work..i said 4.30...then he said 'see you' and was about to put down the phone when i decided to Enquire who he was since i had never heard his voice before... "im shuko. bye" FUCK!! i had been speaking with my boss and i didnt know it!! nabei... anyway after walking around town going into the various boutiques like LV, Dior, Chanel, FEndi, GUcci....and helping dawnie decide between a Dior bag (which was quite cool, though the price was cool too) and a gucci one (which looked plain) and a LV one (which looked plain retarded)...of course i recommended the Dior one...it made me go 'WOW' and, considering that im a guy who is not into bags, it probably was a knockout...then came the anti-climax...dawn was short of cash and had to borrow from me...i was too darn lazy to visit the atm...so i ended up rejecting all the bags...lol since we had been walking around for damn long, we took a break at taka basement...when i was standing in line for my sushi, i heard my hp ring...it was enhui...sshe said oriental called her house to ask for me...hussain called her to ask her why i wasnt answering my hp...when i called him back, he said he called me ten thousand times and was getting pissed...that kancheong spider...lol...i apologised cos i had been outside and couldnt hear my phone ring, and he had only called 6 times...he started screaming at me... i was like ''....i already told shuko im coming at 4.30'' hussain: *silence* then why does shuko keep on calling me? me: ....like how the fuck i know? i told him around 12 45 that im coming at around 4.30 nabeh...i got scolded cos of their own fucked up miscommunications...wot to do....? anyway went with dawn to go buy her DKNY watch...which was quite pretty...and then went off..at orsin went up to cherry garden ....tossed the fricking yusheng until it was all over the fricking table....lol....had a lil tiger beer...still have no idea how jessica alba can endorse it..then had dinner... after dinner we went back to banquet office and musa start strapping me with pillows so i could fit into my costume...used organza bows...i looked super comical can? with the costume on it was damn stuffy...but comfy cos of all the pillows...didnt bring black shoes..so was walking around the hotel as a God of Prosperity in Nikes...lol...musa was laughing all the way at me..nabeh...after the first walk around the hotel's F&B outlets and restuarants, i had him impressed with my natural talent of making a fool of myself...never heard musa laugh so much before...dammit he is always either scolding me or laughing at me...fucker took a break in the banquet office for awhile..took off the whole fricking costume...was soaked with sweat...after that musa and i realised we had slacked a lil too long when shuko started calling to ask where we were...hurriedly strapped on the pillows again, put on the costume and went out....started from 19th floor this time....after walking around the lounge, i realised that my pillows were coming loose...was coming out of the lounge and was about to tell musa that when this angmoh woman came up to me and started talking to me...so i thought, "heck... the pillows wont drop just yet!" then she gave me a hug...when she stepped back, me pillows all came loose at the same time...one moment i was an obese old man, the next i was a much skinnier looking GOd of Prosperity, with a pile of pillows at his feet.... i have NEVER BEEN SO EMBARASSED IN MY WHOLE FRICKING LIFE!!!!!!!! musa tried to make a joke to salvage the situation...the woman was hysterical with laughter...and so were the guests around the area and the waitresses...we gathered the pillows and took cover in the fire escape as musa was strapping the pillows back on me, i thought he was going to give me an earful...instead he started guffawing too!!! come to think of it, it was damn funny...he put them back on extra tight and we made a fast round around the hotel....took a cab with shuko to his mom-in-laws place...shocked the whole family..got 2 angpaos, tossed yusheng again, stripped in the lift with the help of his father-in-law and bro-in-laws and zhaoed.... yup....so then went grandma hse to sleep....next day is CNY...so went to church 1st, then went to uncle's place, went back to visit ahma and went to grandma hse again...being chased out of the house is good for angpao collections...i got like 700+ on the first day alone!!! wow....this is from the relatives who know about my predicament...yup...its all going to studies!! and after that went to pass kaixin my psp to keep her occupied and went drinking with rach, nette and ROY! lol...came back and konked out on the sofa later going to be caishenye again...lol ok this post is fricking long leaving skool cheakie at 2:11 PM [comment] *** Saturday, January 28, 2006 ok stop asking...i DO have fresh undies already! i washed them! lots of appointments have been made and canceled abruptly...so i basically stoning at home...aunt doesnt want to sign the withdrawal letter for fear that laobu will go find trouble for her so im just waiting to be expelled for now....hope they expel me soon enough man went to collect pay with elizabeth and munirah today..after that went town eat kfc...then met up with the spastics at far east...met so many ppl i know in town...saw the gay chris....WITH ANGELINE!!! like WTF man!! nabei....he has the fucking balls to ask her out!! wait till andy knows about it!! lol... saw estee at pac plaza...then when we were at ripcurl guess who walked in?? AMANDA!!! the one from S72...shes still fucking pretty...walao... *droooool* she was with clarissa and the polo girls...kaox....you're beautiful......she had gotten a perm..shes so so so HOT! everytime i see her i remind myself that its worth staying straight...lol saw weiyann at lido there...then at heeren saw dawn and kent...going shopping with her tml...then saw jamie and weijie too....scared the hell out of both of them when i pounced on weijie in the dark...he thought i was this bangala he saw earlier...wakakaka... yups....tml is the day i dress up as cai shen ye...fuck all....its just a faggot in a robe... leaving skool cheakie at 1:54 AM [comment] *** Wednesday, January 25, 2006 No One's There: by Korn You and me We have no faces Soon our lives they’ll be erased Do you think they will remember? Or will we just be replaced Oh I wish that I could see How I wish that I could fly All the things that hang above me To a place where I can cry So why can it be? No one hears because Echoes back at me No one's there To all these meaningless feelings I can't deal with in my life To all these greedy people Trying to feed on what is mine You’ve got to feel your hunger And stop fucking with my mind I know it's time to leave these places far behind You and me We have no faces They don’t see us anymore Without love as they had promised And no faith for what’s in store Oh I wish that I could see How I wish that I could fly All the things that hang above me To a place where I can cry So why can it be? No one hears because Echoes back at me No one's there To all these meaningless feelings I can't deal with in my life To all these greedy people Trying to feed on what is mine You’ve got to feel your hunger And stop fucking with my mind I know it's time to leave these places far behind Where are all these feelings hiding? Dancing in and out my mind Burning up all that I long for Feeding me till my decline Where are you? My soul is bleeding I am searching Am I blind? All alone and bound forever Trapped inside me all the time To all these meaningless feelings I can't deal with in my life To all these greedy people Trying to feed on what is mine You’ve got to feel your hunger And stop fucking with my mind I know it's time to leave these places far behind leaving skool cheakie at 5:07 PM [comment] *** Tuesday, January 24, 2006 i have been ITCHING to blog this! I DEPLETED MY SUPPLY OF CLEAN UNDERWEAR! IT HAS BEEN 2 DAYS SINCE I HAVE WORN A PAIR OF NICE, FRESH UNDIEs! phew i finally got that off my chest...started yesterday night after work...that morning i had rushed off to work without bathing or changing my undies...i was damn smelly and sticky and needed a bath desperately...so i opened xiaoxin's closet.......and found the spot where i usually stacked my undies was BARE! feeling annoyed, i went over to the clothes hanging frame...i found none of my undies there either...it was then that i started to panic...i glanced at the laundry basket: the basket was overflowing...the chore that i had been putting off for almost a week now had returned to haunt me! argghh! had been so busy the past week that even if i had the time to dump the laundry into the washing machine, i wouldnt have the time to hang it out to dry...so i procrastinated....and now i had to face the consequences... it was 2am when i discovered my extinguished supply...had to work at 6am after that, which is today...so i had no time to do the laundry and hang it up if i wanted to catch some shuteye..so i grabbed a pair from the basket and rinsed it...THOROUGHLY but without soap...haha...then i ironed it to remove all the moisture...and then, i put it on..wahaha wrong move: i have been itching the whole of today, which btw, is JACQ'S BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JACQJACQ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!! lol...yeppp..she's eighteen...and im jealous...dammit...I WANNA BE EIGHTEEN!!! i wanna watch M18 movies i wanna be finally able to claim my 4D winnings (when i win) i wanna go clubbing without borrowing ID ARRRGGHHHH!!!its a fricking 10 more months to go..so be patient cheak dammit...sunday was this old fuck's 80th birthday...some big rich fuck...indian family...western set dinner style with indian food...nabeh i tell you, it was fricking crowded....and the guests were super irritating...most of them were fat,old geezers and they couldnt sit still throughout the meal...they were like walking around and yakking the whole fucking way...so its like, we serve course by course...and they dont seem to eat! and when the next course comes, WE CANT PUT IT DOWN COS THE PREVIOUS COURSE STILL LAY UNTOUCHED ON THE TABLE!! courses like sherbet would melt after some time so we cleared some...immeadiately the guests started complaining...nabei...all they knew how to do was yak and complain...then this charbor lost her diamond ring and stared making a big fuss about it...called in security right away to look under her table but to no avail...after the dinner, liangdong, me and maochong went over to the next table to search...maochong found the ring...it was gold and at least 2.5carats...omg...liangdong snatched it out of his hands and rushed over to give it to her...she thanked him profusely and her husband gave liangdong 50 bucks tips...later he came over again and gave liangdong another fifty...liangdong sensed a goldmine and sent them all the way to the door...he got another fifty...liangdong then gave me ten, munirah ten, junwen ten, maochong 20(cos he found the ring) and kept the rest...hmmm...though i darenot lay claim to a larger share of the tips, liangdong isnt as simple a guy as i thought he was... the next 2 days were damn suay...(think it was the lack of clean underwear that dragged me down)...yesterday was OC at national library with May...elizabeth ng gave me a morning call...haha...the moment i knew i was under May that morning, i went to eat first...so i came up late...nearly got baotohed by that dumbass gay chris....but i got a tongue-lashing and my pay docked just the same... thank God i went to eat...they were starving when they got there...poor elizabeth...she was like picking the raisins out of the peanut and raisin cocktail nuts mixture and stuffing her cheeks full of them...haha...she would like look to see if May was watching, then scamper over and start eating...damn cute...she just reminds me of Her...ionno...everything about her lah...thats why i might treat her a lil different from the rest... =/ anyway did i mention it was a suay day? yup i broke 2 fatboy glasses...first time was at the bar right in front of May....lifted up a fatboy had somehow gotten its base under my tray of clean fatboys..tray tipped..glass smashed on marble..i got scolded 2nd time was at the back area a while later...ORSin is really so kiam that they arent even sending stewarding ppl to OC now...so i had to clear up the back area...was rather flustered cos the guests were damn greedy fucks...was turning around with this tray of fatboys when one of them tipped ovver and smashed to the ground....May burst in and threatened to dock my pay again...was damn fucked up... but i got 2 new brudders that day:munirah and elizabeth ng...they are my brothers cos THEY ARE SO FRICKING HAIRY!!!! lol..my brudders and i were supposed to go eat KFC after work (request by ms ng) ...but munirah just had to wash her hair (of which she has plenty) after work...so we ate with jacky at esplanade makansutra...bitching about chris and talking all sorts od unrelated cock...munirah is romatically linked to practically all the indian guys in oriental...even the married ones...shes one desperate girl....LOL...liz treated me to charkwayteow! i owe you one babe! gonna get her a carton of raisins she woke me up again today...she keeps calling until shes assured that you are fully awake...thanks sweetie, i really dont know what i will do without you!! today was OC with hussein...nabeh first thing in the morning, i break the glass holding the flower showpieces....went to mindef....kanina i was doing all the sai kang in the back area again lor...kept koping tap water from the stall...feel so guilty...had to wash coffee cups while the rest were slacking...broke one of them...everyone started calling me a stewarding uncle...walao so degrading!!!nabeh...later it was my turn to slack while they served inside...the malaysian sultan sure took his time to tour the army camp....suited me well..haha...i was paid by the hour...came back to orsin then went back to dump laundry into washing machine...went to town to meet them for dinner at marche heeren to celebrate jacq's bdae..met elizabeth luei there...she is having a hard time teaching sec 2 brats..wahaha.....jacq bought 2 beers just to assert her new found freedom...haha, happy birthday again prince! yup thats about it...im gonna take a bath and change my fricking underwear!!!!tml gonna help ricky's former colleague move house....after that go class outing and then to grandma house for dinner...yupp leaving skool cheakie at 10:19 PM [comment] *** Saturday, January 21, 2006 work yesterday was quite good...i got my name tag at long long last (thanks SP kelvin!) !!!! it was a chinese wedding dinner that was pre-portioned! and it was rather relaxed and enjoyable cos its like 4 staff to 5 tables...woohhoo...the event organiser was this hot mama wedding organiser...she looked young, had a great figure and all, but experienced ppl (like yours truly) could tell that she was in her late thirties already...but she was a knockout...not only her, the bride was this airstewardess (a rather average specimen though =/) but her girlfriends were HOT! woooohoooo! lol...the delicious-looking babes + the great-smelling food made me salivate...but that was when things got embarassing.. ok i was like holding this hgue tray of fish and waiting for my serving partner to ummm...serve the individual plates...they just came out of the warmer, so i said, "be careFFul!" but, at the 'F' syallble, due to the buildup of drool in my mouth, a huge glob of saliva dripped in a strand from my mouth and INTO ONE PLATE!! like "PLooOP!" omg i looked all around me to see if any of the guests had seen it...thank God they were too busy watching the emcee to notice....i immeadiatelyy separated the contaminated plate from the rest...when munirah(my serviing partner) came for the rest of the plates, i told her not to touch that one...she couldnt hear me over the emcee...so i said rather loudly,"dont touch this plate! my saliva dripped into it." to my horror, one of the guests turned around and stared...i went like, "Shit!" and made a hasty retreat into the kitchen for refuge, with that offending plate... =/ i noticed later on that the poor feller barely touched his fish...oops... yupp...i had a Xena in my serving group...meet poh ting! lol...she normaly daos me but ytd she was in a damn good mood...kept smiling till her eyes disappeared...lol...dont know why...prolly her time of the month...she held the big tray when we cleared tables of the cutlery and dinner plates...i asked her if she could tahan...she said if she couldnt, she would pass it to me...when she finally did, i doubled over with the weight when she passed it to me...wow...evelyn isnt the only hua mulan in oriental...lol..jonathan and the ahmad ibrahim gang came back to work too! havent seen the twins for so long! they are damn tanned now...a lil skinnier too...but grace and genevieve havent changed...lol...talked to pei wen also....other than being in the habit of calling me "hong Lan" (red dick), shes rather nice and humorous...guess everyone was in a good mood yesterday...even May didnt kaopeh at all when she came back...worked till 2am....arranged to meet jieying, junxiong and yuhui to go check out te poly open hses today...ricky also asked me to be the 'god of prosperity' for CNY eve...i agreed...but now i think about it, im dressing up as an idol...its kinda wrong...God please help me!!! reached home at around 4.30am....slept at 5.30.... woke at 9am today..went for breakfast with kaixin...then went to SP open house..called jieying..SHE WAS STILL IN BED!!! they went out for supper and went home late!! and didnt sleep much...argghh...so i then dragged kaixin all around singapore from SP to TP to NYP...SP was outright boring...the stories are true...pretty girls are an extinct species in SP but TP had quite a few hotties!! so did NYP...met kong for a lil while and then bumped into tim at TP...him knowing me, told me that the vending machines were programmed to dispense free drinks just for today...so with kaixin's ezlink and mine, we koped 4 cans of nescafe and 2 bottles of coke lime!! lol....went to get a goodie bag just to keep the drinks...dumped the contents of the goodie bag into a bin...got an earful from kaixin for being mean...lol...fuckcare.... didnt make it in time to NYP to watch mel dance though TT.TT wasted...just said hi and bye and left cos kx was looking ready to just die of boredom...got the application forms for media studies though...yupp...and was relieved to find out that being expelled from JC didnt matter in my poly appliacations and that my aunt could sign the paperwork in my parents' stead...wheewww...but was disappointed to know that the study loans were from the bank, which meant cut-throat interest rates...arghh...nvm...the Lord will provide... ima hungry...but its fricking raining so im gonna try cooking macaroni again...lol....tml go work again =/ leaving skool cheakie at 7:10 PM [comment] *** Friday, January 20, 2006 ya continuing from my last entry, i went to return those surveys..at tanjong pagar i met hsien! ahaha small world..she gave me the 100 then...aishah looked kinda pissed...oopsies....then went to send ber off ....guess who i saw at the airport again? HSIEN!! lol...she was sending lynn off...together with wanxin and xh...haha...fuwei wasnt there to send her off...ber gave us all a hug each and flew off with all her girlfriends in tears...her mom was sobbing all the way...kinda weird cos her mom was accompanying her there yet she was crying..weifen forgot to pass ber a book... too late then i guess..james gave me and jiawen a damn dangerous ride on the baggage trolley...i was breathless from all the close shaves we had...nearly rammed several ppl...edward silas happened to be at the airport...lol so weird.... wasnt late for work today...finally in so long... today was damn siong....chiong here chiong there...arghh...guests were fricking demanding...had to refresh the conference room for 152 pax and wash and refill 4 coffee urns in 45 mins....urghh...nearly dieded...and the guests are from this oil company...they may be international businessmen, but they are still fricking childish..i donno how many coasters i had to change cos they had been colored over...or how many mineral water bottles were stuffed with trash...urghh...worse still, i ended early...like at 4? dumb.....met xiaobai at citilink..met this colleague from the SLF survey as well.. after work went to watch 'memoirs of a geisha' with rach...was ok...not too bad...not fantastic either...i love gong li's performance though....i think shes beeeautiful! lol...yupp..chatted with rach for awhile, increased my chances of lung cancer with all that 2nd hand smoke....then came back.. ya tats my life for now....BOOOOORING!.. im gonna attend the polies open houses on sat..kaixin might be tagging along... leaving skool cheakie at 1:22 AM [comment] *** Wednesday, January 18, 2006 was so proud of myself yesterday morning when i boarded the 97 at 6am...i thought i definitely would be able to reach work by 6.50am...so i fell asleep on the upper deck with a smug smile on my face whilst cuddling my shoebag... the smell probably knocked me out quite a bit...when i awoke, the sun was shining a tad too brightly for my comfort....but when i looked out of the window, i was only at the malan road campus of SA...finding it a lil weird, i looked at the time on my hp and found that it was already 7.10! SHIT!!! glanced out of the window again and found that i was on the OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE ROAD!! for those of you who are familiar with the 97 route, it is a loop service..i had slept on the bus for one hour and ten minutes...NOT ONLY HAD I OVERSHOT MY WORKPLACE, I WAS ALREADY HALFWAY ON THE WAY HOME!!! arghhh.... stumbled down the steps and ran across the road...reached work only at 7.50am....fucked up....thank God adrian loo was working with me, and as his usual efficient self, he had done almost everything...i was damn bler the whole day cos only had about 6 hours of sleep in 2 days...set up coffee station in the wrong room so had to tear it down and set up again...other than that the day went rather smoothly...knocked off at 7pm leaving hussein to set up 3 atriums alone...cos the management cutting casual labour costs...its all bullshit lah...so much for them saying that they would raise our pay this year...argh crap fell asleep on the sofa at around 9...woke up at 9am today...lol...need more sleep....went to the bank and finally cancelled my posb account and took out the money....only had $1104.06 inside! argh....think maybe i didnt have that much after all....probably around $4000 with laobu in fixed deposit only....my apologies but the visit to the bank also showed that she hadnt credited the $2k that third aunt gave me into my bank account...and that she had pocketed the sum...how holy of her to steal it!! bet her pastor told her to steal this too...this sum im am sure of... later gonna return all my surveys (which i havent touched) and apologise profusely to aishah...then go meet the spastics to see wot they are up to...haha...and mebbe at night ima go get the cash back from hsien...yup tatas leaving skool cheakie at 12:47 PM [comment] *** Sunday, January 15, 2006 im drying up.... i dont mean my virility...lol...but the rest of me...nowadays i dont sweat as much i usually do when im working...thats good, but my lips are getting dry damn easily and keep cracking and peeling...and after i peel the skin, it leaves ulcers behind...have three obvious ones on my lower lip now...this all started whe the skin on my hands started peeling a month ago...real dry skin...but now that it has stopped peeling, the ulcers and peeling lips dont seem to want to go away anytime soon... =/ have been drinking lots of water...other than the increased frequency of trips to the toilet, it hasnt changed anything for the better went to church today...then went to visit grandma....my parents changed the gate padlock yet again to spite me...so called her to let me in...now they have even locked the doors to their room, which they never did in the past...they seem eager to protect their loot...edwin's data cable is in that room! couldnt get it back today so decided to come back for it another time...after talking to grandma, i found that apparently some psychoing has been done to her since my last visit...the ytold her that they chased me out cos i REFUSED TO STUDY!! wtf...come on...i WANT to study...i have all along WANTED TO STUDY in POLY, not fricking JC!!!....but they refuse to support me!! she started off on their side when i first arrived, but i had her nodding at my outbursts at them by the end of my visit...haha...she's a lil easily influenced...so i need to be careful in dealing with her... tried cooking macaroni and cheese today...the sausages were too salty and the macaroni was a lil too bland and should have been cooked longer.....but it was definitely more palatable than the soup on my first attempt...yup...xiaoxin was a more willing experimental subject this time round...and since eating the macaroni and cheese at 5pm, i havent heard any complaints of tummyaches from his yet...marvelous....its now 11pm...so far so good...lol suddenly had this idea of going to crash school on wednesday...hmmm...see my mood and whether or not im too shagged from work...mebbe you guys will see me then!! haha... leaving skool cheakie at 10:50 PM [comment] *** woke up late today....was supposed to work at 10...woke at 09 16....signed in at 10.20...sian...3 bucks gone...today was this western lunch....for the xando company...fann wong was there...she's fricking skinny and fricking tall! shes like my height when she is standing with heels! any she's damn good at smiling...wonder how she keeps that grin on the face..does she insert a clothes hanger in her mouth or something? lol...i cant smile...for the fear that the contractions of my facial flesh might cause a buildup of fluid pressure leading to mulitple eruptions of acne on my skin surface...even if i do risk smiling, i cant do it for more than 20 seconds...after that my facial muscles start to cramp up..and i look even more retarded than i normally do when i smile....so thats why im Mr. Grouchy most of the time.... -,- anyway after work went to karl's to cut hair...cos red's is fully booked till after CNY...sian....but he cut the usual lor...not as good as reds...but at least i aint gonna get nagged at by my managers to go get a haircut for some time...yup...after that went over to wai por's place...had recieved a msg from 3rd aunt repeating her offer to give me pocket money...i replied telling her my surrent situation and she told me to go over immeadiately...repeated my story every time an aunt or uncle came back home and finally tried to tell it to wai por in hokkien but gave up and resorted to an interpreter: 3rd aunt....they feel that its too extreme too...yup...but then i found out something that made my blood boil 3rd aunt asked me if i had recieved the 2K she had passed to me...i was like,"....huh? what 2K?" she then told me that she had written a cheque for 4K to laobu's name...1K was meant for each of my sisters, and 2K was meant for me....laobu never mentioned anything of that sort to me...kanina...she fucking pocketed my money!!! that brings her loot to a grand total of 10K...she has siphoned 10K from me...!!!FUCKING BITCH!! 3rd aunt was damn shocked to hear that...she wrote Kong a cheque to repay him the 500 that he lent me...on top of that, she agreed to be my guarantor for that study loan im gonna take out....see? i told you the Lord will provide! haha..he is faithful.... yeppp...and my relatives are asking me to move in with them asap...they dont trust outsiders...haha...i think im gonna move over there in 2 weeks time...they gave me lots of stuff before i left...so now i have 12 more packets of chrysanthemum tea and a packet of hudsons and a milo tin full of 'beyteysor'....had to politely decline the 8 packets of myojo mee goreng they offered...lol...wow... tml going to church and then to visit grandma!!!! and returning the house keys too...lol.. oh my fuck...arsenal vs middelsborough....7-0!!! wakao!! CRAZY!!! leaving skool cheakie at 12:08 AM [comment] *** Friday, January 13, 2006 lots of people have taken it upon themselves to help me check out my future prospects...from getting back my money, to paying for my school fees, to earning my keep, to what exactly mass comm is like........wow.....but however somehow my future seems extremely bleak according to them...i choose to believe that their intentions are good-natured and that they are not trying to turn me off my plans politely...but somehow i have this nagging feeling that not as many people believe in me as i would hope... *shrugs* hmmm...i dont know what to think... work was quite shitty today...guess i should have expected it...after all, it IS friday the 13th...started off quite well actually...did the veritas function...ya...the guests were nice ppl...but was really getting bored working with harris...resented the fact that they didnt put me with elizabeth...would have been more fun with her =/ anyway both harris and i were rather cranky due to lack of sleep, coupled with his lack of sex...lol...so things got a lil fucked up when it came to having to clear the back area after each coffe break...we couldnt use the trolleys to avoid creating noise disturbances...so it was damn slow...and with shuko (the boss) walking around, we could not do things well...funny how little things like lack of sleep, lack of sex and lack of use of trolleys can make people easily pissed at each other...yesterday he was pissed at me cos i wasnt working properly...wasnt my fault entirely...i needed to shit...i get fucking cranky when i need to shit too...nabei... got sent up to Cherry Garden later cos they needed help...even worse...the GM of the hotel was there!! more stress! but it was just basically carrying food to the serving stations...so not too bad...quite sian cos like 90% of the waitresses were PRCs...lol...fugly...only 2 local eye candies there...haha..all was going rather well till i was going out with this tray of desserts...was kicking the door open (cos my hands were full) when the sole of my shoe slipped against the door...i lost my balance and one dessert overturned onto another...fucked up...so paiseh...heng GM wasnt around then... got plenty of missed calls when i was there from strange unfamiliar numbers...later when hussein and came up i realised that the executives were looking all over for me, forgetting that they had sent me up in the first place...lol..HEY COME ON IM NOT A SKIVER!!! dont need to keep checking where i am! they forced me to sign off at 14 30 today...kaox...replaced me and harris with andy and angeline...fuck man..how come the rest of my male colleagues get to work with all the best girls!!? arrghh...so today's earnings not even 50 bucks...fucked up farting continued today....wonder how long it will last.. tml working again...this is getting monotonous... =/ leaving skool cheakie at 10:52 PM [comment] *** Thursday, January 12, 2006 shagged need rest working since 6am dying real soon tml working 6am again die farting continued today gonna fart my insides out soon hey babe, you may nag and probably wont win any fashion awards but you are one sweet chick almost like Her so alike im afraid *sigh* leaving skool cheakie at 11:07 PM [comment] *** Wednesday, January 11, 2006 past few days have been just working my hairy arse off...sunday worked till late..realised that grace's sis, elizabeth is working in orsin too..wow...she's a nag...but definitely not as bad as laobu(that one is super fucked up annoying)...was her serving partner...was dismayed to learn that we were serving 3 tables..but was so happy when i found out that one of those tables was reserved...puahaha...the guests didnt turn up! wahahaha...we were so efficient in serving i tell you..heh...she's nice lah...good looks run in the family...but sadly, good dress-sense doesnt =/ oops.... then monday woke damn late..was supposed to go do the surveys...but was too goddamned lazy so decided to stone around at home with "the da vinci code' ...(ya fine in know im slow in getting my hands on it) monday was this sarongpartygirl's wedding...started farting alot that day...it began with me squatting in a corner arranging the number frames in a box on the floor..was beside the female wedding singer...felt a little gas coming so decided there was no harm letting it out....what did come out was this veryveryvery loud "POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!" (SEE? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I HEED THE ADVICE OF PEOPLE AROUND ME WHO FORBID ME TO BURP! THE AIR JUST COMES OUT BY THE BACK DOOR!!!!!) ....walao was so paiseh that i didnt dare look up to see her reaction....my embarassment was worsened when the smell hit....dammit...worked till 11.30...but jovan signed me off at 11...dammit...free labour..i hate it...so hung around stubbornly for the 12.30 transport...haha....they were crowding around harris's pda hp in the changing room...watching porn...walao....after awhile apparantly the video got a lil monotonous so most of them turned away....only the PRC housemen stayed mesmerized by it...haha...they were damn excited when they saw the video...kept running around and shoving the PDA screen in ppl's faces while we were like putting on our pants and laughing away at their own joke...lol...ok fine i know it sounds wrong, but i didnt have anything to do with it... sat outside seven-11 with the whole lot of them chatting away...learnt quite alot about them...never get to actually talk to ppl like May unless under these circumstances (they are usually screaming at you)...started talking to this girl called angeline...lol she is nothing like that biatch from css who shares the same name...shes nice...just completed her 'a' lvls in TJC...intelligent chick...has real big feet nontheless...lol..AS BIG AS MINE! was trying to mimic her on the phone with the operator from her internet suppiler when i raelised that everyone had gone silent and were staring at me...then they burst out laughing at me...omg...felt so dumb.. had intense discussions with elizabeth (the one with the mole) about the shit econs teachers we have in SA...she is my senior (and i didnt notice her around in SA, only met her when started working in orsin)..on sunday also realised that another 2 of my seniors are working in orsin too...likewise i havent noticed both of them in school...lol...all these gals arent worth noticing..lol was supposed to go back ml to see aishah...but swapped orsin slots with shaoxiong...so started work at 7am instead of 2pm so couldnt go to ml...was late cos xx didnt wake me up at 6...i woke myself at 6.11...arrived at work 10 mins late...arrrrghhh...nvm...tml working at 6am...TAKE CAB!!!! PUAHAHAHA... so its basically been just work lor...boring life...just now after work and my post-work bath, changed into civillian clothes and went to the guest toilet to take a shit....wah!! best shitting experience in a long time!! cubicles so nice and dry....and clean...think i may go earlier tml to take a shit too...lol leaving skool cheakie at 9:43 PM [comment] *** past few days have been just working my hairy arse off...sunday worked till late..realised that grace's sis, elizabeth is working in orsin too..wow...she's a nag...but definitely not as bad as laobu(that one is super fucked up annoying)...was her serving partner...was dismayed to learn that we were serving 3 tables..but was so happy when i found out that one of those tables was reserved...puahaha...the guests didnt turn up! wahahaha...we were so efficient in serving i tell you..heh...she's nice lah...good looks run in the family...but sadly, good dress-sense doesnt =/ oops.... then monday woke damn late..was supposed to go do the surveys...but was too goddamned lazy so decided to stone around at home with "the da vinci code' ...(ya fine in know im slow in getting my hands on it) monday worked till 11.30...but jovan signed me off at 11...dammit...free labour..i hate it...so hung around stubbornly for the 12.30 transport...haha....they were crowding around harris's pda hp in the changing room...watching porn...walao....after awhile apparantly the video got a lil monotonous so most of them turned away....only the PRC housemen stayed mesmerized by it...haha...they were damn excited when they saw the video...kept running around and shoving the PDA screen in ppl's faces while we were like putting on our pants and laughing away at their own joke...lol...ok fine i know it sounds wrong, but i didnt have anything to do with it...sat outside seven-11 with the whole lot of them chatting away...learnt quite alot about them...never get to actually talk to ppl like May unless under these circumstances (they are usually screaming at you)...started talking to this girl called angeline...lol she is nothing like that biatch from css who shares the same name...shes nice...just completed her 'a' lvls in TJC...intelligent chick...has real big feet nontheless...lol..AS BIG AS MINE! was trying to mimic her on the phone with the operator from her internet suppiler when i raelised that everyone had gone silent and were staring at me...then they burst out laughing at me...omg...felt so dumb.. had intense discussions with elizabeth (the one with the mole) about the shit econs teachers we have in SA...she is my senior (and i didnt notice her around in SA, only met her when started working in orsin)..on sunday also realised that another 2 of my seniors are working in orsin too...likewise i havent noticed both of them in school...lol...all these gals arent worth noticing..lol was supposed to go back ml to see aishah...but swapped orsin slots with shaoxiong...so started work at 7am instead of 2pm so couldnt go to ml...was late cos xx didnt wake me up at 6...i woke myself at 6.11...arrived at work 10 mins late...arrrrghhh...nvm...tml working at 6am...TAKE CAB!!!! PUAHAHAHA... so its basically been just work lor...boring life...just now after work and my post-work bath, changed into civillian clothes and went to the guest toilet to take a shit....wah!! best shitting experience in a long time!! cubicles so nice and dry....and clean...think i may go earlier tml to take a shit too...lol leaving skool cheakie at 9:43 PM [comment] *** Saturday, January 07, 2006 slept until 4.30pm yesterday...woke up realising that i had to go ML to see aishah...but it was raining and i had left the stuff at my parent's place so decided to fuck it and just stay at home...so didnt even open the door...kept raining so i just watched the telly...faith called to tell me that my booking was cancelled for the next day...fucked up timing..fucked up client when xx came back with my laksa he found that he had locked me in anyway..lol...so i wouldnt be able to go out since i hadnt made the keys..ate my laksa...by then it was like...9.20pm...xx had found $800 plus missing from his bank acct when he lost his wallet...had to go print his bank passbook to trace the mysterious transaction... so we went down in search of a key maker and to the bank(he traced it all right)....found no keymaker...then went in search of groceries...ntuc closed...dammit...remembered that there was a supermarket that opened 24 hrs near my parent's place, so went there to get groceries...bought alot of nonsense..two bundles of fresh veg...lugged it home...found that there were no tupperware containers at home...so just dumped the groceries in the fridge and went to bed...haha woke at noon today...went back to parent's place to get my stuff and visit grandma..ah ma is fine! haha..she kept saying stuff like 'your mother is going to chase me out too soon'...and 'dont turn into a gangster ok?' ....and 'ahma has been worried sick'....and 'Go cut your hair short short!" .....awwwww...miss my grandma..she's damn sweet and damn cute...haha...had lunch with her in her bedroom..miss her cooking too! she put so much chilli padi i sweated like hell, but loved it all the same! haha...koped a few ice-cream boxes to store the veg...went back, put the stuff down and went to ML... on the way there, laopeh msged me...kaox so fricking pissed lor...he and laobu have this fucking way of fucking twisting the truth and making it sound like i was in the wrong and seem that they are these ever-loving, eveer-forgiving people... anyway laopeh was saying something like "son, i am very sad that you chose to rebel leave us. i pray that by God's grace you will realise that you have sinned and repent and come back. and by the way, hui lost her keys and needs a new pair. return yours" KANINABU! for the record, i was fucking chased out by his wife! and she was spurred on by his pastor! so i didnt rebel and leave, i was OBEYING HER AND HER PASTOR, cos her version of God says that you chase your offspring out of the house if they want to be actors and if they want to show their ignorant siblings how fucked-up their parents are....and the last sentence so fricking obviously shows what a hypocrite he is....fucked up i tell you...so i told him just that and his fucking reply was "i want you to complete JC, did you obey? you want to be an actor, we cant support a course that will lead to acting with a clear conscience!" pissed me off even further..cos i originally wanted to go straight to poly and mass comm after getting my o lvl results...but laobu kept kp-ing that grandpa wanted me to go to uni...so i relented and went to JC...but before i made my decision, i made it very clear that i clearly remember telling laopeh that i will try my best in JC though i know that its not the path for me...but if i fail, he has to pay for my mass comm course..HE FUCKING AGREED THEN! now who is fucking going back on his fucking word? and him not paying for my course is not what is fucking pissing me off. ok i have this POSB savings account...it contains all my angpao money from since young...all the gifts from grandpa, my uncles and aunties, my edusave scholarships and bursaries are all inside...adds up to about 8K...recently..i think it was last year, i put about 6K into fixed deposit so it could earn me more interest...the catch was that i had to be 21 to put cash into fixed deposit...so i had to transfer it to laobu's acct...at first i was rather hesitant cos legally the cash was hers...but she said stuff like "dont worry, im your mother! i wont run off with your money! just sign the papers." i was dumb...i believed her...now she is refusing to take the cash out...and even when the bond matures, shes not going to return it to me! FUCKING BITCH I TELL YOU! and not only that....the bankbook containing the rest of the money which is still under my name, shes not going to return it to me either...cheated of 8k...by my own fucking mother...come on ppl, tell me if i was wrong to call her a shit mother in her face?? that cash was meant for my education...now she squanders it away! fucking bitch...now im only left with 200+ in my UOB acct...fucked up... ok deviation...so i just told laopeh to tell his pastor that he had finally gotten rid of the Evil one within his holy family and that i wasnt dragging my sis to hell anymore...i also told him to rest assured that grandpa in heaven would be very pleased that his daughter-in-law had stolen 8K, most of which was grandpa's money, from her son's college fund...wasnt it the holiest thing to do? (so in response to your tag jonaTAN, i dont really think conwomen are worth honouring, neither are their fucking henpecked husbands who have no balls to stand up for their own).... i also told him to let me know when he finally chases his daughters out onto the streets cos they have turned to the world by listening to modern music and watching drama serials on TV... then i can take them in so they wont have to fend for themselves like i have to now.... he shut up then.... went to ml, took a new address list, went to oriental, got my pay, came back, made a set of keys for myself...bought 30 frozen pratas...haha...started to wash the veg...found a basin by the sink so i scrubbed it with soap and washed veg in it...xx came back later and told me that his flatmate washes his underwear in that basin....im like, "FUCK'!! anyway, there's this veg i bought, something like an elongated cabbage...it looked quite small at first so i bought it...but as i peeled off layer after layer, i found that i had quite a lot of it!! could fill two 1.5 litre ice cream tubs! thats plenty of veg! argh....screwed...gonna be a rabbit...tried cooking...started with soup..just dumped fishballs in...then the veg...and some button mushrooms for good measure...put in olive oil and rice wine and dark soy sauce and salt but still no flavour...and it looked rather inedible...xx salvaged it by adding sesame oil and more msg and more...tasted like sesame oil after that...but was definitely more palatable after seeing me cook, xx didnt dare let me try anymore...he was very nice about it and said he would rather cook as he wanted me to try his cooking...so i got the hint and steeped back...his sesame chicken was a little overcooked and DAMN SALTY...his ommelette was quite oily too...and salty...haahaa...but he says he hadnt cooked for damn long...one could tell: THERE WERE WORMS IN THE RICE!!! we spent 10 mins picking them out before cooking the rice...i added too much water...it turned out more like porridge than rice...but after the moisture evaporated it was fine....we watched 'outbreak' on HBO while eating...its this movie about the US army trying to contain an ebola epidemic...real gross when you see the wasting bodies of the victims...good movie...you should catch it sometime if you havent already...(the movie, not the virus)....anyway straight after dinner, xx had a tummy ache and went to shit...he said it was quite painful in the toilet...poor thing..must have been my soup (though he barely touched it)...he tried to sleep it off..but woke up wanting to shit again when his flatmates came back...i forced him to drink hot green tea i koped back from work...he felt much better then think im gonna go meet the spastic 5 next week! haha...miss them already! xx said that his flatmates would only be back on sunday...but they are back already...2 of the 3 at least....they seem nice enough...toot but nice...lol...hope they can stand me.. dont know what the landlord will say though... =/ ok this entry is frigging long so im stopping here.. as we sat on that bench you slithered out of my embrace took my hand when i fidgeted put it next to yours both palms up our love lines matched but you let go looked away got up walked away defying fate breaking my heart to dust leaving skool cheakie at 12:12 AM [comment] *** Tuesday, January 03, 2006 ok i have so much to say....a lot happened since yesterday...night...yup ok...starting yesterday...it was her bdae...so met up with her to give her a movie treat after pool...tried damn hard to act normal...it was easier than expected since we havent seen each other for so damn long...met her after pool with niexin... was quite late when we met up...like 2.30...so we reached town at like 3.15...went straight to lido...saw jael mugging away at macs..walao so act mug lor!! wahaahaa...anyway found that there were no watchable shows that were short enough to allow me to go off at 5..so just went around looking at stuff and chatting...went to eat the toriQ and sushi...yup...actually wanted her to go along to support cheemun at the campus superstar thingy but cos i couldnt confirm a ticket for her, she already made arrangements...was worried sick when she said that she was going to a friend's friend's place...IN ALJUNIED! thats like so near geylang..tried to put her off it by telling her that there were alot of bangalas there...which is true....but she wouldnt budge...got even more worried later after we parted cos she either took damn long to reply or didnt reply at all...and her msgs were damn short...nearly went crazy when in the end i tried calling her at midnight and her hp was off.....kept praying for her safety....thank God when i tried calling her this morning the hp rang..and she called back...phew....guess that was the closest i came to what we had a year ago... =/ she still stood as close to me as usual...and could feel her pentetrating gaze when i was looking away...wish i could turn back time....i dont know...we are good for now... anyway at 5.30 i met jason lee at orchard to go mediacorp with him...while waiting for him, char kept wanting me to sing to her...said that her heart was beating damn fast...i assume she was kinda apprehensive about going to a stranger's house...refused to sing though..haha...rare right?? all you out there who have heard my renditions of songs, you are so honored! she wanted jason to sing her a birthday song too...but she ran off when he came... anyway he sang her a birthday song over the phone..haha.. jason and i then took the train to bishan...changed to bus...realised that we had taken it the wrong direction...cabbed to mediacorp....the rest were there already...waited damn long to get in...chun keong gave me 2 whistles to blow....jason and i blew our lungs out until the ah lians sitting in front kept turning around to diao us...lol the female performers SUCKED! except the last one..the handsome bung...lol...the guys werent too bad...CM got the lowest points cos i think he was nervous...but i think he had the best voice...competition was tough lah cos the rest of the contestants were either better looking or more confident...poor CM...we sent plenty of voting SMSes but he didnt make it...so unfair...think i may just continue watching the show...i LOVE the gay judge!! lol...he is so "uncle" yet SO GAY!! lol....see him cant stop laughing... anyway after cheemun got voted out, things went downhill from there.... reached home at 12.30...while i was eating laopeh came over and told me that he was not going to pay for my poly education...FUCK....just cos i said i might want to be an actor in future...he was not going to "partake in making you a tool of the devil" and said all sorts of fucking nonsense...i cant be bothered with censoring myself cos im so bloody frustrated...laobu definitely had a huge part in instigating him...fucking bitch...so i told him i was going to fucking dropout cos i needed to work to pay my school fees...IMAGINE IT!! FUCKING WORKING TO FUCKING PAY YOUR OWN FUCKING SCHOOL FEES!!! calculated my school fees...i need 10K for my whole poly education...fucked up...this coupled with my not being able to contact her kept me awake for damn long...the last time i looke at the clock before i fell asleep, it was 3am.... woke at 5.30am to the sounds of alarm clocks....grandma tried waking me up...i said i wasnt going to school...she got pissed...i said its cos laopeh fucking refused to pay for my education and i had to work to support myself..then laobu came along and fucking kicked me...got jolted up...she started to kp about all sorts of shit so i just covered my ears with the pillow...then she fucking yanked the fucking pillow away and started screaming shit into my ear...shit like "mediacorp is going to collapse when you join it" and "God will curse the ground you step on"...so i fucking screamed back at her to fucking leave me alone....ah meow (the cat) was yowling away...couldnt sleep even after laobu stopped cos ah meow kept making alot of noise...so after enhui left for school with laobu sending her there i went into my sisters' room and lay down beside my youngest sis cos it was quieter inside...i must mention that we were at least 2 feet apart then laobu came back, came into the room, saw me sleeping on the same bed as my sister and kept shaking her to wake her up...when leng finally roused, laobu said "come leng, go to mummy's room to sleep. dont sleep with boys." ....KANINA! fucking extremist! she's my sis for heaven's sake! and its not as if i was touching her or anything!! fucking bitch..hate the way laobu fucking twists bible quotes and uses every little thing to tell my sisters to "stay away from the world" ...to keep away from buying things that are not cheapskate cos "the devil will suck you in into spending" ....and "dont end up like your brother, he is in darkness"...and "at least you appreciate your mother who has bled for you, sacrificed so much for you, ALL for you. at least you are not ungrateful like your brother" ...fucked up bitch i tell you.. so i went back to sleep...woke up, found no food...so cooked maggi mee..then just stoned around, calling the polys to check the fees and stuff....then when enhui came back, laobu started screwing her for being a few minutes late...she threatened to fetch enhui after school everyday...enhui was in tears trying to get her not to...cos its very embarrassing....then laobu sat outside the toilet staring at the door waiting for hui to finish bathing so she could continue abusing her.... when hui came out and the abuse started again, i couldnt stand it...so i remarked how laobu always claimed to be too busy to do housework, forcing it upon us...and she had the time to sit outside staring at the toilet door...laobu went crazy the minute i opened my mouth...really crazy...cant remember what she said, or what i said for that matter...all i remember is that she mentioned something about her pastor giving her permission to kick me out of the house if i tried to influence her daughter, which was what i was doing then...so she kicked me out...so here i am now at xx's place...i dont know how im going to survive, but im banging on "the Lord will provide"...haha...read the bible quite a bit...read stuff like "Get out of your father's house" in genesis and many encouraging things like "God is a ever-present help in times of need"...wow... so i arranged to stay at xx's place...which is where im at now...his flatmates are in china...so quite empty..the place is a mess though....haha..typical bachelor's apartment...walked out carrying lots of barangbarang: stuff which i bought with my own pay and stuff which laopeh and laobu would be likely to throw away just to spite me...yup...so far so good...im going back to work tml...keep praying for me yall!! think third aunt will give me pocket money, she always has been wanting to support me...guess she empathises with me...yup...the Lord will provide jiawen and char have offered to help me in any way that i require..haha..but i dont think i will want to trouble them...for all of you reading this pls do not let out too much...thanks... leaving skool cheakie at 9:37 PM [comment] *** Sunday, January 01, 2006 HAPPY NEW YEAR PPL! whoopeedoopeedooo!! i may sound happy but im so totally not.. =/ started the day by going to return the books which i borrowed using this ezlink i found at sentosa...laopeh made me do it...was damn stupid to have left the books lying around...borrowed those books like half a year ago lah! 3 books the fine chalked up to 25 buckseach...and the cardowner doesnt use thelibrary apparantly...the fines were unpaid...felt damn dumb paying the fines....damn damn dumb....argh... then went to bugis to get that treat chia has been oweing me for so long...then went around searching for christmas presents for my 2 sisters...got damn pekchek searching for a suitable belt for enhui....then someone punches me on the arm...turn to see char and mich...wow they sure look good...still felt kinda awkward around her so just waved and carried on...then she msged to ask if i was pissed with mich cos mich has been owing me a sushi treat but had been grounded for too long that she never had the time to treat me...and yet mich was shopping with her...ya but nvm...didnt really care about that...seeing Her made me realise how long i havent seen her...she is even more pretty now... just released this whole load of memories on me..plenty of regrets..that tugging at my heart, albeit faint, was still there...i dont know...msged her a lil after that...should have asked her to go countdown with me...she did so want to see the fireworks (*which were cancelled in respect of the tsunami victims) last year...this year they were spectacular...though i saw them with the spastic 4 and james and joleen, and not her....think they might not have known it, but i was trying to keep my emotions in check...guess i did a good job...heh its her birthday on monday...just in case i cant go online, Happy birthday in advance char!!! dont know if you will read this..but im wishing you all the same....happy birthday to kent and jinhong too!! while we were in town, we encountered every singaporean's fears on such public holidays: bangalas...so we coined a term to refer to them rather inconspicuously: GuGus...haha...soon we were saying stuff like "GuGus to your right!" , "oooh there's a handsome GuGu!", "WATCH OUT FOR THE GUGUS!", "oh there goes a GuGu family!" ...horny lot GuGus...thank God they didnt do anything to our girls...not like our girls have figures anyway...lol..sorry if i seemed racist...please dont sue me...i havent inspired hatred....have i? so just hung around after that...lost james and jiawen for awhile....then they came with food...waited for damn long for cabs...couldnt get any so decided to take NR to yishun before cabbing to jiawen's place and then now im staying over at james's place...saw a lot of flashing lights on the way...passed this car that had completely flipped and was resting on its roof on the grass divider....hope no one died...these drunk drivers are crazy man.... think im so gonna fall asleep in church later....try my best not to though, God help me..... still thinking of what happened a year ago at this time....holding her through the night...probably the only time i felt genuinely fufilled and whole after being incomplete for so long....... now im just incomplete again... =/ Life Goes On by Leann Rimes You sucked me in and played my mind Ooohhhh life goes on Wish I knew then what I know now Ooohhhh life goes on Nananana life goes on ooooooohhhhhh oooh yea Got a feeling that I can't go back Life... Goes... Oooonn.. Oooo yea, Shame on you if you fool me once Ooohhhh life goes on Nananana life goes on ooooooohhhhhh oooh yea Got a feeling that I can't go back Nananana life goes on ooooooohhhhhh oooh yea Got a feeling that I can't go back Nananana life goes on ooooooohhhhhh oooh yea Got a feeling that I can't go back Nananana life goes on ooooooohhhhhh oooh yea Got a feeling that I can't go back leaving skool cheakie at 4:53 AM [comment] *** |
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